I submitted the proposal and the publisher was interested. They requested a draft chapter by March 20. I wrote the first draft by mid-February and sent it to two of my colleagues for their input. I respect both of them as educators and writers, and I knew they would give me the honest truth. They sent me their suggestions and I got right to work on revisions. Within a short time, I had revised everything except one section - about two paragraphs.
And that's when the procrastination started......
After a few days of diligently working away at revisions, I came to a screeching halt. I moved my work down to the dining room table so I couldn't avoid seeing it all day, every day, but I kept avoiding those last two paragraphs.
Then I saw this on Twitter:
and I had an aha! moment. How could I reframe my writing and more specifically my procrastination through a self-reg lens? Why was I procrastinating? It seemed to be causing stress but was it also a way of avoiding stress?
The last section I had to revise was about teacher self-efficacy. One of my reviewers has just published a book on teacher self-efficacy. So who am I to write about that when she's written a whole book? I've read some articles and understand the theory behind it, but obviously she knows more than I do and I should probably just stop before I reveal my inferior knowledge to everyone. I think there was a bit of imposter syndrome happening for me.
And secondly, once that section was done it would be time to submit this draft chapter to the publisher for peer review and committee consideration. Maybe they'll say 'yes' and then I'll have to revise and revise again for this chapter PLUS I'll have to write the rest of the chapters. Or, maybe they'll say 'no' and that will be so disappointing. So by not finishing this draft chapter, I may have been trying to avoid the anxiety of clicking submit.
This self-reg lens helped me to understand why I was procrastinating. Instead of beating myself up for my lack of willpower and self-control, which I had been doing for days, I understood the reasons for the procrastination. And once I did, I was able to finish the revisions in one night.
This morning, I mustered my courage and clicked send. Draft chapter one is on it's way out into the publishing world for consideration and review, and hopefully, acceptance. And best of all, I get my dining room table back!
|I put the leaf in but still managed to cover the entire surface. |
Luckily no one else was home this week.